Hate mail:
Thank you for contacting PETA about animals killed during grain harvesting.
If you have a moment, I'd like to know in which restaurant you saw this
Sincerely,
Cliff Kaminsky
*Note: I have never contacted PETA. Someone sent
my guiltless grill article to them and PETA
decided to contact me instead.
PETA stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Let's ignore
for a moment that their name implies there exists a universal set of ethics,
and instead let's focus on the meat of this email: PETA is "primarily
concerned with preventing the suffering of living animals." Oh really? As
opposed to preventing the suffering of dead animals? Good thing
they clarified because I was confused and couldn't infer that when they
said "animals" they didn't mean dead animals. Glad we have that
cleared up, let's move on.
So what exactly constitutes as "prevention" of animal suffering? The
moral vegetarians (not the ones who do it for religious or health reasons)
love to chant "we're trying to limit the suffering." What the hell does that
mean? If you eat wheat or soy, you're not limiting anything.
Unless you
plant, grow and pick your own crops, you're not doing everything you can
to "limit" the suffering. You know deep down that you could help limit a
whole lot more suffering, but you've chosen not to. You've
chosen not to because your lifestyle is too convenient, and you'd have to give
up too much, but nevermind that--you have a conscience to feel good about,
and you can't let a little thing like millions of violent deaths of field
animals get in the way of your moral trip.
Limit the suffering? That's like me saying I'm going to
eat meat only 364 out of 365 days of the year in an effort to "limit" the
suffering, I'm doing my part to prevent suffering. "BUT MADDOX, YOU COULD
LIMIT
A LOT MORE SUFFERING BY NOT EATING MEAT AT ALL!!!1" Exactly, and vegetarians
could limit a lot more suffering by planting their own crops, but where do
you draw the line? You claim to have compassion for animals, but just as
soon as it gets too inconvenient you decide to call it quits? Cowards.
You're no better off; not in my book. A murderer who kills 10 people is
no better off than a murderer who kills 20 if the murder is avoidable.
Of course, from the perspective of a suggestible young vegetarian I'm sure
being responsible for half as many murders as the next guy means you're
off the hook, right?
I keep
getting email from moral vegetarians saying "HEY MADOX WE FEED MORE GRAIN TO
ANIMALS AND IF YOU EAT THE ANIMALS YOU ARE KILLING TWICE AS MUCH." No shit?
The only difference is that I'm not protesting at street corners about other
peoples' diets--I'm not the one with a mission to prevent "the suffering of
living animals." This email I received, and
many like it is the whole reason
I wrote the article in the first place. My opinions are kept to myself on
my personal web page. I don't remember asking anyone to read a damn
thing on my website. When you open up your inbox, you don't find it full of
my opinions, and if you do I didn't send them to you. I'm not standing on
the street corners protesting, I'm not putting fliers on your car and I'm
not putting ads on TV and in magazines. I'm not shoving my
agenda down your throat, don't shove your agenda down mine. All you dumbass
activists need to get bent already.
Fun with facts: vegetarians love to boast
outrageous figures like "it takes 5,000 gallons of water to produce one
pound of beef and only 20 gallons to produce one pound of wheat." I've
heard figures ranging from 2,000 to 5,000, and vegetarians will be damned
if they include a source so we'll take the mean (that means "average") and
go with 3,500. The
average person consumes 1.5 million gallons of water every year (it takes
water to grow and produce the food you eat in addition to the water you
drink, quit emailing me you morons). Why isn't
PETA protesting overpopulation of humans on the street corners? Why isn't
PETA passing out free condoms or throwing javelins in your cock when you
walk down the street if they really cared about water consumption? It's not
like that water just suddenly disappears. The earth has had about the same
amount of water for 2 billion years. So if
a pound of beef takes 3,500 gallons of water, what
difference does it make? How many vegetarians drive a car?
To make a car (including tires), it takes about 40,000 gallons of fresh
water. That's not including the gas it takes to run the car, the
electricity to run the gas station, the water used to create the boat that
brought your precious oil, the water used to create the pavement you
drive on, the destruction of toxic chemicals that went into creating your
clothes, and the electricity you use every day to send me stupid emails
over the internet. Every year you are directly responsible for the
consumption of billions of gallons of water. There are 26 million
people suffering preventable brain damage from iodine deficiency, and
another 1.5 billion people at risk. Nevermind that, you have animals
to save. By driving your cars, you pump billions of tons of poison into
the atmosphere and you're slowly killing us all. The computer you use
requires 250 watts of electricity, let alone the billions of computers
required to keep you on the internet. All consuming energy. All
contributing to pollution. Let's just ignore those minor hypocrisies.
Someone wants to enjoy a burger and you'll be damned if you're going to
let them.
What makes you think that animals suffer in slaughter houses anyway?
I think it
would rule to be raised for slaughter. Get all the free steroids you
want, free meals and plenty of good company--hell, you have it made.
Then when you're at the prime of your life, you get your head generously
chopped off so you don't have to live through the suffering of old age.
Not only that, but you can die with the satisfaction of knowing that
somebody is going to enjoy eating a burger made out of you. What's more
humane? Being slaughtered for meat or having to spend 8 hours a day, 40
hours per week in a cubicle for the rest of your life with assholes who
listen to shitty music without headphones, then retiring and withering away
with old age and cancer as your obnoxious kids grow up and treat you like
shit? Slaughter please.
It seems that you only post hate mail that you have an
So, once again, post this e-mail.
YOU ARE VERY STUPID.
I am not. But I am much younger than you. I know how
The first time I looked through it, i thought it was
I have the following mods:
This is probably the most frequently asked question regarding my
article about Civics. You guessed it Alex, the
reason I don't tell people what kind of car I drive on my website
is because I don't want to be put down. I'm sure it has nothing to do
with the fact that thousands of raving lunatics like you
would love to key my car if they ever saw it in public. Hey, while I'm
at it why don't I give you my license plate number and save you morons
the trouble of stalking me? I already stated in my Civic article that
I don't drive a sports car, so what difference does it make? The point
of my article was that a lot of people buy cheap cars and then dump a
lot of money into making it look trashy when they could just buy a
nice car and make most of the same modifications to make the already fast
car go faster. I know a lot of you are going to email me saying "BUT
MADOX ITS JUST A HOBBY AND I ENJOY DOING IT LOL!!!11." Yeah? Well writing
about your stupid hobby is my hobby, so piss off. Also, what does "you
pointless site is so crap" mean you jerk? Perfect "grammer" my ass.
Mr. Wannabe omniscient and omnipotent terrorizer:
Is there a single race, ethnicity, class, gender, age, ....etc that you
VIVO (junior high school)
Yeah, maybe you'll see me in a few years; that is, if I continue to
work and pay my taxes that put your punk ass through school and afford
you the luxury of sassing off to people on the internet. Nice job
on the Castro reference, by the way. Socialist dictators and rap stars have
a lot in common. After all, when I think decrepit, I think
Eminem (hint: look up decrepit). I want to keep
this brief, because I don't want to squander any more of your precious
time that you could be doing.. what is it 14 year olds do again?
Oh yeah, not a damn thing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, VIVO,
oh wise and powerful junior high school student.
hey Mr.Who Claims he can spell.
""I win. When I go into work next, I'm going to surprise all my
Inane Drawings? WTF is an INANE drawing?
Moron.
116949 stupid kids tried stepping to my iNsAne skills and got 0wned.
1 Cloud9 stepped to your INANE babble and Bitch Slapped the FUCK OUTA YA.
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 05:58:40 -0700 (PDT)
Hi,
I am not sure what your name is or what kind of life you have. I just
Have a nice day!
Date: Wed, 18 Sep 2002 20:03:44 -0400
ya shitface
but regardless your page was fuckin funny.
You spelled insane wrong there smart guy
Seriously, I thought people were kidding when they kept emailing me
one after another telling me I had a typo. That's another thing,
you cocks can stop emailing me with every little typo and grammar mistake
you find on my site. I know they're there. There's a typo on my Metallica
page, there's another on my Jenny Jones page and I'm sure there are a few
others I've missed--on purpose--to lull you into a false sense of security
by making you think that I'm not perfect and that you stand a chance of
busting my chops; little do you know that my chops are un-bustable.
Regardless, I'm not going to fix them because I just don't
give a shit. So then why do I bitch about spelling, grammar, etc in some
of my hate mail?
As of this writing, I've written 283 web pages containing over 122,000
words. Let's say that hypothetically each page contained 3 typos (the
actual number is much lower than that, but for the sake of argument
bear with me).
So that would make a grand total of 849 typos on my web site, or 0.7% of the
total words on my site incorrect. That's less than one percent of all the
words on my site spelled incorrectly given this generous model. Hell,
even if I had 5 mistakes per page, that would still only make 1,415 or 1.15%
of the words spelled incorrectly on my site.
Now let's look at the average dipshit sending me hate mail to tell me how
much of an idiot I am. Most of them have upwards of 5 mistakes
per sentence. I'm not bitching so much that there are mistakes, but
if you're going to tell someone that he or she is an idiot, you had better
make sure not to look like one yourself, or at least sound half intelligible
when you do it. That's all I ask. Also, it's "YOU'RE" not "YOUR" when you
want to say "you are." As in, you're pissing me off by sending me this
stupid bullshit.
Well, that was a breath of fresh air, huh?
Then you have the audacity to ask me "who gives a fuck?" Well, you, for
one. Or at least you give enough of "a fuck" to write me a vitriol
saturated email as if you're some how above it all--at 12:30 in the morning
no less.
Yes, it's quite clear that you have better things to do with your
time. I mean, sending email to strangers on the internet is quite a
fruitful endeavor, right up there with, oh I don't know, maybe
GETTING A JOB? You know, I was wondering: if you don't have a job,
then who's paying for you to be on the internet? Who's paying your
electricity bills? Who's paying you enough so that you can not only afford
to eat every day, but that you have so much extra that you can
afford the luxury of logging on and sending candid emails to random
people on the internet? Who? Tell me, how did sending this email
possibly help to improve your pathetic situation? The only thing
that pissed me off about your email is when you mentioned that you don't have
a job, because I know that I am somehow inadvertently paying for you to
write me an email. Get a job and try being less of a social
parasite. Better things to do with your time, my ass.
While it may be true that you're bald, scrawny, unemployed and haven't
had sex for over eight years (thankfully), at least you can take solace
in the fact that your one and only argument in your email wasn't flawed by a
glaring contradiction, right? Oh wait.
You need to chill on the suicide article. I am in a pshycology class and am
If people who read my site end up killing themselves over it, then you
have to wonder how long they would have lived in the first place.
I mean, seriously, if you're that much of a brain dead dolt that you're
going to be coaxed into taking your life because of some stupid shit
someone writes on his personal page,
then it would have only been a matter of time before your dumbass
did something stupid like wandering out into traffic or falling out of your
chair, hitting your head on the edge of your desk and bleeding to death.
Anyone that stupid probably shouldn't be living. Trust me on
this one, I'm doing you a favor. These are the same people who hold up
traffic, pay with checks, listen to Enya, and delete all the files on their
computer and then wonder why it stops working.
Hey Dick, don't you think it's a bit hypocritical to send me an email
telling me to stop being "such a critic"? You know that your email is
full of criticism, right? Do they teach you how not to
be a moron in your pshycology class? Exactly
what field of study is pshycology? Is it anything
like psychology, moron? What's the deal with your email anyway, are you 12
or something? If you want me to stop cussing, then why did you use the phrase
"bull crap" instead of bullshit? It has the same meaning, except
you sound like a pussy when you say "bull crap." Nobody cares if you say
shit, least of all me.
You remind me of all those
pussies who write "sh*t" as if it's somehow less offensive to read than
the actual word. Listen Dick, I'm going to do you a favor and give you
some advice. It would be in your best interest to take my advice because I
know everything.
Advice for Dick:
There you have it Dick, send me a follow-up email in a couple of years and
let me know how my advice has worked out.
to whom it may concern: i was conducting research for a psychology course i
I checked to see what Freud was searching for that pulled up my site and here's
what I found:
http://www.google.com/search?
hl=en&q=patch+adams+girlfriend+killed&btnG=Google+Search
So let me get this straight: You were conducting research for a psychology
course (which for whatever reason, the professor finds it fit to introduce
feel-good
watered-down sentimental bullshit like Patch Adams
into the curriculum), when you "accidentally
accessed" my web site "by mistake"? Oh
so you accidentally accessed my site by mistake as opposed to accidentally
accessing my web site on purpose? Then you tell me to "make some
sense"?
Next you claim that people like me sit around and wait for someone to make
a mistake and do something stupid so I can laugh at them. Yeah, that
sounds about right.
What really baffles me about your email is the double standard you're
pulling. You're calling me cowardly for putting up my web page,
claiming that I'm afraid to make my opinions public? This is just a stab in
the dark so correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't posting opinions on a web
page on the internet make my opinions accessible to anyone? So what
you're saying
is that it's cowardly to post my opinions in a forum that's "public" by
definition, right? Makes perfect sense if you ignore that whole "logic"
thing. Then again, why make sense when you can prattle off like an idiot,
right? Drop my idiot friend here a line and tell him who the real coward
is.
Dear Mr. Maddox
*****ACE*****
Every once in a while, I'll get an email from some jackass saying "people
put fins on their cars for better drag coefficients."
When I write back and ask these morons if they know what a coefficient is,
or if they know that drag is also proportional to things they have no
control over such as air density, I never get a response. The reason?
They're pussies. Speaking of pussies, ACE, thanks for the virus tip off;
I went ahead and forwarded your email to the FBI. Not that it matters,
because even if you knew how to send a virus, which apparently you don't
because your email is void of attachments and macros, it wouldn't matter
because I read my mail on a Unix system. Oooh.. a virus. Tell me, ACE,
how exactly do you "incript" something? Is that the same as encryption?
Dumbass.
You call everyone morons and dipshits for their cars? What the fuck
Truly yours,
Supra driver
-maddox
why the fuck do you bitch and complain about everything? is there
another thing, i just read your 'That's right asshole, bag my groceries!'
next time your writing about how much you hate somthing... think a little
go to hell.
Every once in a while, I'll get a piece of hate mail so stupid that it's
brilliant. You claim that I'm wrong for criticizing people who play loud
obnoxious music in public? After all, why garner the attention of voters
with rigorous political merit when you can penetrate everyone's psyche
within a 5 mile radius with poorly-written, one-note, R&B, homogenized,
trendy horse shit, right dipshit?
You do make a good point however, when you talk about... oh wait, my
bad, I started reading my response to you; you have no good points.
However, I can't argue with success. As hard as it is to believe that a
mere mortal would be bestowed with the prestigious honor of being
accepted to play on the Vancouver junior football team, I'm very
impressed. No really, that has to be right up there with winning a
distance pissing contest, at the very
least. I'm sure you'll make it big in collage.
Don't let a silly little thing like the fact that you're a moron come in
the way of your dream.
Oh, by the way, I'll take your suggestion for sprucing up my web page
with some HTML under consideration, thanks. In fact, I think I'll start
with this page, tell me what you think of the new look:
Since you seem to be an expert at web technology, perhaps you've noticed some
of the scripts I'm running behind the scenes on my web site? Tell you what,
since you seem to be in-the-know, I've
decided to give you a demonstration free of charge; I've banned you from
my web site for one week. Ah hell, let's go crazy. I've banned
everyone from your ISP from my web site for one week. I've left a
message for anyone banned from my web site to email you with their
gratitude! Enjoy!
i saw your jackass site and i really have to say that JACKASS RULES AND
I'd feel compelled to defend myself if I felt like this person was even
remotely insulting. This is just weak.
i happen to like mtv. do you want to know y!!!??!! well, i going to TELL
I have a better idea: instead of watching the "real world" on TV, why not
live in it? It's easy, all you have to do is turn off the TV and go do
something. All sorts of "real" stuff happens in the "real world."
You can ride a bike, eat a sandwich and
you can even prove to the world that you're a dolt by sending me
poorly written hate mail.
I'd have never guessed you watch MTV from the refined writing
in your email. You ask what's wrong with MTV? They're
the good guys after all, they only want to make people laugh, right?
The producers, writers, celebrities, record labels,
soda companies, clothing companies, agents, directors and a
slew of corporate executives, managers, supervisors and accountants
laugh all the way to the bank with the money
of all the dumbasses who watch MTV and endorse the products of their
juggernaut marketing campaign.
Go on, watch their shows, laugh it up... they're doing things nobody
else would do. Look everybody! A guy sitting in pig shit! That's
good TV, call the kids.
MTV blows. The network claims to be so cutting-edge and anti-censorship,
yet they're one of the most heavily censored networks out there. Thumbs
down to its parent company Viacom. The people who make the decisions
at MTV are cowards with no conviction. Sure, they'll act like they're
mean shit when they show a breast or let a cuss word fly here and there,
but when it comes to showing something completely uncensored, those
pussies back down... why? Heaven forbid advertisers object to their
content. Then how will the producers make their Lexus payments? Wake
up. MTV is mind-rot bullshit, turn it off.
you are are a judgemental
son of a bithc who are you to jugde
people who
jesus christ, what a fucking inept excuse for a webpage. loser! clearly
why try to having grating opinions when really, you're just a dickhead?
fuck off!
In his response, the email signature contained the URL to his home page.
DAMMIT. So, I figured that since he trusted me enough to send it (or he
was too stupid to erase it), and because I laughed when I read this email,
I'd go easy on him (and besides, the last time I threatened to do this to
someone, he almost cried). Since I'm already in the spirit, I'll have
some fun, so I'll post a bit from his resume:
This was the most recent "work experience" he had, followed by:
I'm a shitty programmer? This coming from someone who landed a
prestigious job doing technical support in a university computer lab? The
lowest common denominator of computer jobs. I'd better be careful with what
I say... I'm dealing with a pro. Just not a programmer. Way
to go jackass.
your a fucking asshole with a mouth
http://search.excite.com/search.gw?
search=a+page+for+losers+and+depressed+people
This query pulled up my
gothics page (the only page he bothered looking at). Well Aaron, did you
find what you were looking for? Dumbass. I was going to omit your name, but
I figured that since you didn't take the time to look at anything else on my
site, I wouldn't take the time to conceal your identity. Drop my pal Aaron
here a line and tell him he's a dumbass.
I recently stumbbled upon your web page, BY MISTAKE, and I would just like
You stumbbled upon my web page by mistake
eh? I have news for you: that's not the only mistake you've made.
First of all, how can I possibly be the biggest idiot you've ever met,
being as you've never met me? You criticize my satire and label
me as a "type of moron that just sits at home and does nothing all day...,"
as opposed to just the regular type of moron? Okay, I'll play along.
Let's assume that I am the "type" of moron that, in your words, "sits at home
and does nothing all day." That'd make me a pretty big loser, wouldn't it?
So if I'm such a loser that I don't have anything better to do than to
sit around all day and criticize other people, what does that make you (now
that you've criticized me)? Hmm.. what's the word that describes
somebody that does something against what they preach? Oh that's right, a
hypocrite.
You're obviously a fan of Donnie Osmond; I happen to think he's a shit-eater.
Why? For the exact same reason you think he's great.
Do you actually know Donnie Osmond? Have you ever met him? Do you
have any idea what kind of person Donnie Osmond is, or are you just talking
out of your ass? I've never met him either, so I'm not going to assume that
he lives an honest, virtuous life just because he has a clean-cut/wholesome
look on TV. So in this respect, you're really no different than I am, other
than you choose to be suckered by his image, while I choose to be consistent
with my personality. This leads me to the aspect
of Donnie Osmond that I dislike the most: his personality (or lack thereof).
Donnie is just not funny. He's not interesting. He's not witty, and I
don't like to watch him. On what grounds can I justify this? My opinion.
As with everything else on my page, it's MY OPINION. If
I think Donnie Osmond is an asshole, or if I think he's a hack, it's my right
to say so, regardless of what my reasons are, regardless of what some
preconceiving dipshit thinks about me and my life. You
can't dispute my opinion because my opinions ARE NOT INHERENTLY TRUE OR
FALSE. They're just opinions, like anyone else's. My guess as to why Donnie
Osmond has fallen so many times (assuming you're right), is because he's such
a dipshit and people realize that he's a hack. The guy is lame. I realize
that I couldn't do a better job than Donnie at acting, and that's why I have
a real job. Maybe someone should let him know, because.. damn.
Next, you mention Ellen Degeneres. Ellen Degeneres
is the queen of hacks. I watched her show several times before somebody had
the good sense to cancel it, and it was pure shit. Ellen Degeneres is a
no-talent lame ass that tried to cash in on her homosexuality. The entire
premise of
her sitcom, during the later seasons, was that she was gay. Guess what?
Nobody gave a damn. Ellen Degeneres is not the only
openly gay actor/actress in Hollywood. Marcy D'arcy, (Amanda Bearse) on
Married with Children was openly gay in real life. Why didn't she
spawn a shitty sitcom of her own, making a big fuss over who she likes to
sleep with? Maybe because she knew better than to exploit her sexuality like
that bitch Ellen did. Every time I see Ellen Degeneres, she makes me sick,
and I can't stop barfing. She's the worst, and so are you. Find something
better to do, and quit wasting my time with this bullshit.
Date: Wed, 10 Dec 2003 10:22:39 EST
GO LICK SOME DIRTY ASSCRACK YOU NIGGER.
YOU ARE GOING TO GET THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF YOU. looking foward to
Date: Sat, 24 Jul 1999 15:29:10 EDT
hey man. the at&t guy is DAvid arquette. and he is only making a living by
BTW (it means By the way for retards) YOURE WEB SITE SUCKS!!!
David Arquette is only trying to make a living? Poor guy, let's give him
some slack. I mean, he's a great actor.. he was in.. oh wait, not
a damn thing. David Arquette is a hack, just like Tony Danza and Sinbad.
The world has ENOUGH shitty actors. Could I do any better than
Arquette? Probably not. So I guess that's why I have a real job. It would
be great if everyone could be paid thousands of dollars for acting like a
jackass on TV, but they can't. So who's to blame for that shitty AT&T
commercial? Arquette, or the writers? Either way, the fact that the
commercial was made remains. It wasn't funny, entertaining, informative or
necessary, so it implies that the commercial was made purely out of greed.
Pure profit is what they were aiming for, which is perhaps why they decided
to go with a hack like Arquette in the first place. I mean, does the world
really need another alternative to placing collect calls? Who
benefits from this? Us? Or them?
Of course, most advertisers have the fundamental goal of
increasing profit. Subtract from those the fraction of advertisers promoting
a useful service or product, and the rest is garbage. Loud, shrieking,
obnoxious garbage. If David Arquette had the good sense to decline the
AT&T spot, I wouldn't be writing this today. But he didn't. He
was greedy. Of course, he has mouths to feed too, right? If that's the
case, then he can get a real job and bust his ass like everyone else.
With that in mind, AT&T, their shitty commercials, and their whole collect
calling division can go straight to hell for all I care.
Next, you babbled something about my
music industry
page. Of what I was able to derive from your broken english and poor grammar,
you think the only reason a CD is "higher" than a tape, is because of
"digital encoding?" By higher, I assume you mean more expensive.
Regardless, you're wrong. First of all, what the hell are you talking about?
Do you know what "digital encoding" is? By definition, it's the "conversion
of each sample of a waveform to a number." What the hell does that have to
do with the COST of a CD? Is there some new royalty fee for using a binary
coding scheme that I'm not aware of? Or do you mean the digital to analog
converter necessary to perform the conversion from within the player,
in which case the cost of the CD player would be more expensive, as opposed
to the CD itself?
The truth is that there is no significant reason why CD's continue to cost more
than tapes. People are simply willing to pay the extra cost because they aren't
willing to boycott, and manufacturers know this. That's why we continue to get
milked almost twice as much for a CD than for a tape, even though CD's cost
next to nothing to press. I don't claim to know all the facts, but I know when
I'm being ripped off. Of course, that's something every moron knows
right? Now that you know, that's one more moron you can add to your
list (namely, yourself). BTW (and I use that acronym here out of spite),
it helps to use correct grammar when you call someone a moron,
jackass.
your web page was brought to my attention. my lawyer will be contacting
enjoy being a egotistical feeling-invincible punk-ass kid while you can,
aren't you the guy that tried to smoke the crystalline entity anyway?
Woe is he who pisses off a Star Trek geek. Listen lameass, why don't you and
all your Trek buddies get bent? Stop wasting my time with this bullshit.
Your page sucks ass. I get better e-mail spam from people i dont even
Every night I ask Jesus to kill you.
Seems like a pretty pissed off fellow, or is he? Only one way to find out:
spam him with hate mail. Drop him a line, tell this Helen Hunt loving lame
ass who the real asshole is.
Here's the disclaimer if you want to send me hate mail (Note: I decide
what's hate mail and what's not):
Disclaimer:
By sending me hate mail, you acknowledge that I own all rights to the entire
contents of your message, any images sent with the message, your email address,
your house, your car, your first born and your soul.
Furthermore, you agree to make your email address publicly available on
this or any other web site, and you accept my views and opinions as being
right regardless of anything. Furthermore, you agree that it is okay for me
or anyone else to slander and/or libel you on this or any other web site, in
public, at
your place of employment, or anywhere else in this or any other universe and/or
dimension. Know that sending me hate mail is a request for character
defamation, endless belittling and excessive mockery. You may not sue me for
any reason, ever, and this disclaimer is subject to change without notice, and
you are still subject to the rules regardless of any changes made.
If you do not agree with these rules, then don't send me hate mail.
Oh, and by the way:
go away.
Date: Fri, 20 Dec 2002 10:23:52 -0800
From: PETA Correspondent <info@peta.org>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: response requested
While it is true that animals are killed during harvesting, there is a lot
more to this story than meets the eye. First, we, and animals rights
advocates in general, are primarily concerned with preventing the suffering
of living animals. While millions of animals are killed each year in the
harvesting process, millions of animals suffer EVERY DAY in the meat
industry. BILLIONS of animals are tortured and slaughtered for food every
year in the United States alone. All of these animals being raised for meat
eat grain. In fact, they consume more than half of all of the grain produced
in this country. If the population of the United States were vegetarian, we
would actually require LESS grain, and thereby kill fewer animals during
harvesting. When you eat meat, not only are you contributing to the
suffering of the farmed animals, but you are also contributing to the
majority of the animals killed during harvesting.
"Guiltless Grill" menu section. Thanks again for your message. We appreciate
the opportunity to discuss this important issue.
PETA Correspondent
Date: Sun, 17 Nov 2002 06:19:11 -0800 (PST)
From: Alex Edwards <alex_too_true@yahoo.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: Post this, I dare you.
answer for. You're such a jackass, and when people
challenge you, you can't even answer them.
Go on, I challenge you to post this e-mail.
What car DO you drive? Many people have asked it, but
you don't seem to want to answer it. Maybe it's
because YOU are to scared. Maybe you're too FUCKING
scared that people are going to put YOU down.
Tell us, what car you DO you drive?
Or are you too scared?
to spell, and I know that this e-mail has perfect
grammer. You pointless site is so crap.
quite funny, but then I see the hate mail section, and
I see how feeble you are.
You want to know what kind of car I drive? Fear:
Date: Fri, 18 Oct 2002 06:08:05 +0000
From: d d <vivo_nuevo@hotmail.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: Who are you to criticize?
haven't belittled and criticized to a pulp? It seems to me that you've
had as decrepit and squalid a life as Eminem and Fidel Castro! Of course,
I have no idea why i'm squandering my precious time on fecal matter like
yourself. My advice to you: look for psychiatric help. When I have spent
10 years in medical school and after I've recieved my degree, then maybe
I'll be seeing you as a patient; until then, keep commiserating.
Date: Wed, 18 Sep 2002 12:19:28 -0700
From: Matt <mxcloud9@hotmail.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: haha
Looks like you cant spell for shit,
co-workers and put up pictures of myself instead of their ugly kids and
their inane drawings. ""
From: Little <########@yahoo.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: Reply to Website
thought I would comment on your site. Before you can grade a child's
work, learn how to spell yourself. For instance, INSANE, which is what
your are.
From: Whone <######@######.ca>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: YOU SUCK ASS!
you spelled insane wrong on your page, yet you thing your the grammar
king.. make fun of 9 yr olds.
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 09:46:22 -0700
From: Seth Major <######@################.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: Nice Spelling
I'm only posting this because of the sheer number of emails I get from
you dipshits telling me that I had a typo on my
"I am better than your kids" page. The word is
"inane," not "insane." Inane is a word, look it up:
inane (i-'nAn), adjective:
1 : empty, insubstantial
2 : lacking significance, meaning, or point: silly
Date: Wed, 17 Jul 2002 00:25:09 EDT
From: Bcqth3@aol.com
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: (no subject)
I'm 39 years old, bald and scrawny with paunch; I've been unemployed for
a year, never owned a car, haven't had sex in approximately 8 years, and one
could argue that I have no friends. In short, I am by almost anyone's
standards, a loser.
STILL, I have better things to do with my time than to immerse myself in
the endless yammering of a lot of angry young men on non-issues like cars and
music. I mean really, who gives a fuck?
I think the difference between me and the angry young men, including Mr.
Maddox, is that I know how pitiful my position is, and I'm trying to improve
it, instead of wasting my time on ineffectual attacks against anything that I
perceive to be different. And I can spell.
T
You certainly can spell, but I can see that reading comprehension isn't
your strength. Time and time again on this
site, my message to people about "a lot of angry young men on non-issues like
cars and music" is precisely "who gives a shit?" With the eloquence of a
drunk eating his own puke, you stumbled through this fact completely
oblivious.
Date: Mon, 13 May 2002 22:06:47 -0400
From: Richard Cole <ringleader86@hotmail.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
learning about suicide. You just can't post that on the internet. There are
people who might listen to the bull crap you are saying. So why not start
thinking with your head rather than your rear. You are so immature and
stupid. You probably did kill some kids by posting that on your retarded
site. You need to get a life and maybe a freaking brain. You have no idea
how many people would beat you down if they saw you in public. You write
like your are intelligent in your replies to the hate mail. Why not use your
intelligence to something that may make the world a better place and quit
being such a critic. I think you like the attention you are getting from
your stupid site. That is why you continue to post your dumb posts or
opinions. How about you get attention like a real man would and get the
dildo out of your butt. You need to stop cussing and use some of your
awesome big words instead.
You know Richard, or is it alright if I call you Dick? You know Dick,
I thought long and hard about posting that suicide article after I
wrote it. I thought that there might be, as you suggested, people
who would "listen to the bull crap" I'm saying. Then I eventually decided
that anyone who would come to my page and read that article, and then
take it seriously enough to end their lives has problems more serious
than depression: the problem they have is Stupid. Stupid
is a very serious disease, and judging by your email you might have it;
you should check with someone. Here are some symptoms of Stupid:
1. Stop being a pussy. If you're going to cuss, just do it.
2. Shut up. You don't know anything.
3. Get a vasectomy.
Date: Tue, 05 Feb 2002 04:41:13 +0000
From: "james g adams"
<adamsk@eudoramail.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: your website is in poor taste.
am currently enrolled in and accidentally accessed your website by mistake.
i don't know wheather you think you are cool or amusing the masses by making
all these unnecessary commentaries in your articles, but you come across as
rather arrogant and abnoxious. i know i seem like i'm
prying in your
buisiness, but that's exactly what you're doing as well: placing your nose
in other people's buisiness where it does not belong. it doesn't matter
weather you are serious about the things you say or wheather your website is
intended for comical purposes only, the world wide web could do just fine
without people like you. it's people like you that always managed to louse
up my days in highschool or at work. people like you sit around and wait for
someone to make a mistake and do something stupid then you laugh at them.
like you never make mistakes? are you exceptional in some special way? is
there anything that makes you any better than the rest of us all? tell me,
what kind of music do you like? how about posting an article on your website
involving positive thoughts and about the music, the food, the shows that
you like to whatch? i know why you don't do that. you're afraid people will
ridicule you. you're afraid of social rejection. in all reality, you have a
serious inferiority complex and try to mask it by cutting other people down.
what really just makes me bitter is that you have the audacity to do all
this over the internet. you sit at home and poke fun of other people behind
a keyboard at home. how cowardly is that? why not expressing your opinion in
public? i know why. because you are afraid. afraid to stand up infront of
people. you have no balls. you just think you do. you're all talk and
absolutely no walk whatsoever. i bet that's not even your picture that you
posted over your website. what was that last article all about, the one
about the antiques? if you're making fun of people who participate in
antique collections, then what are you doing whatching antique shows? make
some sense, will you?
Tell me Freud, while you were masturbating with self-satisfaction after
writing your rigorous psychological analysis of my website, did it
occur to you that nobody forced you to read anything on my site? Just
wondering because I don't remember coming over to your house, typing
a malformed query into your search engine, clicking on a link titled
"The Best Page in the Universe," and then
prying your eye lids open while you read my page.
Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2001 20:46:28 -0700
From: res0jw1n <res0jw1n@verizon.net>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: your a dumbass
O.K. lets get one thing stright, you say these people with civics and
such are dipshits because they fix them up. Here's a question, what kind
of car do you drive? also, what i think is you have too much time on your
hands, when your not beating off to playgirl mags your critisizing what
other people do to there cars with THEIR money. So why dont you shut the
hell up and go back to beating off to pictures of guys.You know what i
dont even own a civic, i just think you are the biggest dumbass ive ever
herd of.
P.S. ive incripted a virus along with this e-mail
You know ACE, I won't even point out the irony of
your subject line (it's "you're", not "your", dipshit), because
chances are that you're too inept to know what irony is.
Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2001 20:37:44 -0400
From: Jp <jgallager2@cfl.rr.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject:
do you drive? Wait another question do you have a life? I mean you look
like an adult and all but I mean bashing other people in your spare time
LOL what kind of a jack ass are you? Get a life dude better yet a girl
friend.
Dear Supra, thanks for your advice. Since I've read your email, I've
decided to give this girlfriend thing a shot. I found out where your
girlfriend lives and I'm now dating her. Thanks for the suggestion,
yours truly,
Date: Tue, 08 May 2001 00:35:00 -0000
From: Adam Taylor <coolguy88@hotmail.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
anything you DO like? why don't you do somthing usefull? like NOT make
web pages where you complain about everything. the article entitled
'Listening to cool music makes you cool.'... your fuckin' stupid. the guy
played cool music because it get's the attention of other people, and
obviously it fuckin' worked.. and the thing about basket ball, what the
hell is wrong with basket ball? i don't like it myself, but atleast i
don't go off about how stupid it is. i don't like basket ball... big
shit... SO I DON'T FUCKIN' SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT! so just because your
either 1. to damn lazy to get off your ass and play, 2. you fuckin' suck
ass at it, or even 3. because people probably don't like you, doesn't
mean you can just go off about how stupid it is.
article, obviously you licked ass at sports when you were younger. you
seem to have somthing against people who play sports. were you picked on
when you were in high school? or possibly even BEATIN by the kids that
were bigger than you and were good at sports? obviously you were. how can
you possibly say that the kids playing football interupted you 'learning'
anything. seems to me all you do is bitch about the people that are
better than you at anything at all. and the reason you keep seeing the
'jocks' you went to school with 'bagging your groceries' is because, you
said it your self, your high school team sucked! they got no where
because the licked ass... like you. i was recently accepted to play for
the Vancouver junior football team, which may lead to collage ball, or
even the CFL, which could very well lead to the NFL... now tell me that
i'm not going anywhere playing football? dip-shit.
about how fuckin' stupid you are before you post it on you
'stupid-ass-no-creativity-at-all' website.... and use some PHP, or HTML
for fuck sakes, or atleast a little web design, your site sucks ass...
your making people, that actully know what there doing, look bad..
Well I have to hand it to you Adam, you've proven once and for all that not
all jocks are dumb and that some are even smart enough to go on to
collage. I take back everything I said about
athletics being a diversion from education.
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2001 19:43:22 -0500
From: . <potatomonkey@carolina.rr.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: your jackass web site
YOU SUCK!!!!!!
Looks like I've struck a nerve with you MTV winners. If I had the time,
I'd put up a huge anti-MTV page--if not because everything MTV plays
is shit and the people who watch it are morons, then out of
spite.
Date: Wed, 17 Jan 2001 20:36:20 EST
From: <Cakes05018@aol.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: ur messing wit the wrong people dude!
YOU!!! first off, mtv is REAL. not like all those other stupid shows that
have mickey mouse running around!! i mean real, doin stuff no one else
would
do. you got to have some guts to do what they do. All they want is to
make
people laugh! what the hell is wrong wit that!! I also happen to like Mtv
because its cool! not boring like "surviver." and when you say, "Extreme
sports idiots" i hope you don't mean me, cause i am one of those people,
and
damn proud of it!! at least we don't sit on our ass all day like you and
do
nothing!!! that is all i have to say.
mtv lover
Well excuse me all to hell. I guess I was wrong about MTV; this person
makes a good point: MTV truly is real. Where else could I gain as
much valuable insight about the real world than from a show titled "The
Real World"? Dumbass.
Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2000 22:12:47 GMT
From: captain kirk <im4goth@hotmail.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: hipocrit!!!
choose to live the gothic life s5yle youre not
them you dont know what
theyve been through it makes me so sad to see a
pathetic dickless weener
like you wasting youre
energy putting down other people you make me sick
gothic people make a diffence standing up for what
they believe they dont
need cock suckers like you putting them down!!! eat shit and die!!!
Date: Thu, 13 Apr 2000 02:05:40 -0500 (EST)
From: ---- <--------@-----.--->
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: hate mail
you have a tiny wee-wee. and are a shitty programmer too; a good one
wouldn't be stuck in a tiny cubicle with a shitty computer doing code
optimization for a company that treats him like shit. god! arrogant
prick, with no good reason to be!
christ almighty!
What people usually don't realize when they send me hate mail, is that I find
out everything I can about the person who sends it to me. The reason I
withheld his name and email address is because within minutes of receiving this
email, I found his personal home page, his full name, address, place of
employment, resume, the name of his friends and family, his hobbies,
interests, habits, his major, his phone number, several pictures of himself
(worthy of posting on fugly.net), and even pictures of his family.
Dumbass. I was going to go all out on this
one and post everything, but I thought the email was kind of funny, so I
emailed him back to ask if it was real.
Title: Consultant Support Specialist
Duties:
Managing, supervising, and leading consultants
Creating and maintaining consultant resources
Consultant interviews and evaluations
Hardware/tech support and repair
Title: Computer Consultant
Duties: Hardware/software setup, Technical/customer support
Date: Fri, 3 Mar 2000 16:54:36 -0800
From: mafogg@mindspring.com
To: maddox@xmission.com
Short and to the point. I was bored, so I went rummaging through my logs
to see how Aaron found my web site. It seems that he was using the excite
search engine, and entered the following query:
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 10:49:10 PST
From: r_mealey@hotmail.com
To: maddox@xmission.com
to say that you are the biggest idiot I think I have ever met. You seem
like the type of moron that just sits at home and does nothing all day but
cry and whine. You see other people, who have ambition and are successful,
and then you think about your own shitty life and decide. Anyone who has a
better life than me, which is everyone is trash no matter how good of a
person they are. for example Donnie Osmond. He is fallen and worked his
way back up to the top so many times, and he has done it honestly not by
lying cheating and sleeping around. Yet to you he is a bad person because he
has been successful. Another Example is Ellen Degenerious. She took a
stand and told people she way gay even though she knew people would respond
negitively, yet she continued to be successful because she was honest and
stood up for what she believed. You should re-evaluate your own life before
you criticize everyone elses
Update:
From: <neveguy25aol.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: fuckface
seeing you. dickless.
From: Some jackass who doesn't know when to give it a rest <neveguy25aol.com>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: At&t guy and cd's
acting so LAY OFF. And about the cd and tape thing. The only reason a cd
is higher than a tape is because a cd has DIGITAL encoding. any MORON knows
that. Guess you a lower than a moron.
Date: Mon, 01 Mar 1999 15:50:02 -0700
From: <######>
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: you web page makes me weep
you soon.
kid. when 30 sets in and fecal juice is bubbling out your ass 24/7, you
can't digest lettuce, cheese, beef jerky or anything other than paste,
and crossing a crosswalk makes you break out in hives cuz you know even
a coasting moped could crack your fossilized, calcified feeble frame
into a thousand splinters, well then... you can make a new web page that
says "i used to think i rule but i really sucked much ass but since i
realize it now i rule once again". hey it worked for kazynski, didn't
it? of course, he's getting a phenyol barbital enema as three militant
homosexual male nurses pin him down right at this moment.
and i know the only reason you hate people that speak in klingon is
because you speak fluent ferengi.
Date: Mon, 1 Mar 1999 15:52:55 -0700 (MST)
From: spanky the wonder muppet < dipshit@random.rookie.net >
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: you suck lameass
know. I would like to congratulate you on being the 7896776th person to
post a cleverly-worded 'guide to the internet' for our weary eyes to
stumble over. Whats up with the whole 'yellow jacket' babble? Did you
miss "Mad about You" one evening and write the whole thing out of spite?
You could be doing so much good in this world. You could start by playing
in traffic.