From: REDACTED To: maddox@xmission.com Date: Fri, Aug 4, 2017 at 2:12 AM Subject: Just found your site Just found your site and I gotta say, this is some of the most entertaining shit I've seen in a while. I know it's an older site you got there but I was googling advice on commiting suicide when I found your article on suicide. I enjoy dark humor as well and honestly reading that article made me laugh and put me in a good enough mood to change my mind. So I just wanted to say fuck you. Dying is probably better than this bullshit. Sincerely, S ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: REDACTED To: maddox@xmission.com Date: Sun, May 14, 2017 at 12:05 AM Subject: :D As someone who deals daily with depression and thoughts of suicide, I find this quite funny, and actually helps me laugh at and deal with my issues! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: REDACTED To: maddox@xmission.com Date: Sat, May 13, 2017 at 4:26 AM Subject: Thank you I was about to kill myself with my my 74 Kombi, 2 children and a husband to leave behind. You made me laugh and realise I am being a pussy. Got me through another night. Thank you, tomorrow is another day. Xx ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: REDACTED To: maddox@xmission.com Date: Sun, Mar 5, 2017 at 1:44 PM Subject: Hi This is very personal but I thought I would share with you... I am going through a really hard time with my family and I had actually been thinking about killing myself.. Nd I was searching online but I stumbled upon article.. How to kill yourself like a man.. Nd oh god it was hilarious.. It made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.. Nd it made me overcome that weak moment where I thought of suicide.. So Thanks I don't know you or anything about your blog.. I jus wanted to let you know.. Have a good day Bye ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: REDACTED To: maddox@xmission.com Date: Sun, Sep 25, 2016 at 8:35 AM Subject: Suicide article Scrolled right passed the "please don't kill yourself articles" to yours. Humor saves more lives than you know. Thanks for being an Idiot. BUT an idiot who saves lives. -REDACTED ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: REDACTED To: "maddox@xmission.com" Date: Sat, 21 Mar 2015 23:25:10 -0400 Subject: Depression Article; Not Hate Mail Hey Man, I found your suicide website, and I have some thoughts to tell you. First, can you not post this? I don't want my name to be up there. First off, I'll tell you I am mentally depressed and sad very often. I'm a 14 year old considering suicide, yes yes so common so foolish but I'm just not happy. I haven't truly laughed deep down for weeks. Well tonight, when I found your page, I laughed so hard. Like it's funny how people take your stuff so seriously lol. Like every site was so serious, yours was so comical. Good luck with the haters lol. Thanks for the site, it gave me good laughs. -REDACTED PS: Oh, and can you respond to this? Sorry, I want to see what you think of this. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jethro To: "maddox@xmission.com" Date: Thu, Dec 4, 2014 at 11:50 PM Subject: Depression Article; Not Hate Mail Hey, My name's Jethro and I am clinically depressed. I have already attempted to end my life twice before and have battled with self harm and all the other lovely things that go with depression. A couple months ago I was actually reading up on ways to end my life when I came across your suicide article. Curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on the link. Within minutes of reading the article I was in tears. And after reading the whole thing I was on my arse. I was laughing my friend. So hard it was hard to breathe. Now every chance I get I share this article. Because it's funny and actually says a few clever things. Your article's satirical view of it and the way you can laugh at it makes it a great read. As a suicidal person, it kind of brought me back. Life sucks sometimes but it does have it's good parts. And we all need to understand that. Depression and everything that comes with it sucks. But sometimes we have to laugh at it and our problems. Thanks for making me laugh. And ignore the hate mail. Regards, Jethro ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Donna To: maddox@xmission.com Date: Wed, Apr 10, 2013 at 1:40 AM Subject: Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance Hello, Although I'm sure you don't give much of a fuck (and why should you?) I feel compelled to give you feedback on your suicide page. A couple years ago I was seriously suicidal & was searching for online help to get me past the feeling. I happened upon your page & have to say that it's the ONLY thing that snapped me out of it. Apparently, unlike many people, I have a sense of humor & a brain...although I do suffer from the bullshit of depression. So I want to sincerely say thank you for having the guts to post that page. When I feel very low, I return to that page & it does the trick. THANK YOU ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jan To: "maddox@xmission.com" Date: Thu, Feb 8, 2013 at 9:59 AM Subject: suicide funny page Hi, I was thinking of committing suicide, and found your page. Thought it was just going to be another suicide joke page, but actually really funny. I really had a good laugh. "Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence." "Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra =". ROFL ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Melody To: "maddox@xmission.com" Date: Thu, Feb 16, 2012 at 2:52 PM Subject: Suicide I have been reading your site all week. I have bipolar disorder and three small children, so I'm a bit off-kilter emotionally. The other day (I'm sure you can check which day), I came to your site, hoping to find out how to kill myself. What I found, instead, was the most funny (and REAL) statement about depression. I laughed so hard that I had to stop being depressed. I decided you should know that your site has actually saved a life. I also thought that you would like to know a little bit about that depression from a victim's standpoint. One more thing for you to make fun of, I'm sure. When I go through Depressive episodes, I can literally hear voices in my head saying things that are not true. Things like you posted on your page. It was really good for me to see them from somewhere else. Sincerely, Mommy to 3 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Eric To: maddox@xmission.com Date: Sun, Oct 2, 2011 at 3:53 PM Subject: hey Hey. I just wanted to say thank you. I'm a teenager and had serious thoughts of suicide but after reading you're article on suicide. I realized that suicide is really stupid, and everyone will soon forget. Anyways, feeling much better. Thanks, in a way you saved my life. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: A To: maddox@xmission.com Date: Sat, Jun 11, 2011 at 10:06 PM Subject: your site saved my life Hello whoever you are, I googled "subtle ways to kill yourself" and somehow ended up on your site. I had a good enough time reading it to change my mind. Thought I'd let you know since you seem to get so much hate mail. ~A ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jennifer To: maddox@xmission.com Date: Mon, Apr 18, 2011 at 12:52 PM Subject: your site I was feeling really depressed me and my husband were fighting and I was going to go to a hotel and kill myself. I typed in suicide and found your site. Your site put a smile on my face and now Im not depressed. It showed me I wasn.t thinking clearly, and it really wasn.t the end of the world. I don.t know how I will feel tomorrow but right now I feel happy and feel silly for wanting to kill myself. Thanks ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2010 03:59:40 -0200 From: Ricardo To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: wow hi, i just wanna say that u may have saved my life,,, i was looking for suicide hints on google and i bumped into this http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=suicide i'm not sure if i should thank u, but my family probably is... on behalf of my whole family, i thank you very much :) gosh, i was crying and all the cry turned into laughter when i read your hints! number 2 goes for me;; all the best, ricardo ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 09 Nov 2006 15:27:44 -0800 From: Ka Boom To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: suicide i was feeling very depressed and considering suicide. then i read your list of tips about suicide and i laughed out loud. obviously im still alive and now i dont plan on killing myself. perhaps ill die in a hurricane or a plane crash or something instead. ~jess ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2005 02:44:51 -0800 (PST) From: John To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: Hi, like your site I really like your site. I am 27yo and live in KY. I have been on disablility since 2003 for manic depression. Live back with my mom after being out on my own for about 7 years. I was considering suicide tonight and then I stumbled accross your site. Found "Suicide ain't so bad" I never laughed so hard in my life (lie) I was laughing so hard and it was late that I was trying my best to not wake my mom and her boyfriend. Make fun of me. I don't care if this email gives you a new fresh idea. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 17 Oct 2002 02:52:21 +0000 To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: thankyou Dear Sir, I would thoroughly like to reward you for what you have done for me and how you have changed my life (or the one I was never going to have). You see I was contemplating suicide and call it coincidence/miracle from god or whatever, but my depression influenced me to actually check out the recommended web sites in my inbox and I found your suicide page to be unusually uplifting and eye-opening. It was funny and reminded me of the good moments in life I rarely experience but are so special like - laughing. ...proved to be a life saver. Yours in appreciation, Shane Seymour ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2005 20:53:25 -0800 To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: You saved my life. Dear Maddox, One time I thought to myself; "Holy shit I'm pissed off. Suicide is it." Then I saw that you had updated your site about suicide. I tried the whole cadburry eggs deal and couldn't do it. I laughed though, so now I'm alive. Your updates are saving lives. So FUCKING UPDATE GOD DAMMIT. ~Big Fan ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2003 10:13:06 +0900 To: maddox@xmission.com man thank you, i was about to kill myself but your article made me laugh so hard I'm now a happy person. Not only that, the satire provided the only vehicle to communicate to someone in my deluded state. Thank you! -Alex in Japan ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 28 Sep 2002 23:45:40 -0600 To: "'maddox@xmission.com'" Subject: Keep it up Hey man, I'm a four degree here at the air force academy and I often times contemplate suicide, I just read your article and it made me laugh, something that doesn't happen too often here, I just read through your hate mail, and I think it might be more entertaining than the article itself. Being restricted from leaving this hell hole of a place and being confined to my room gives me a lot of time to think about jumping out my window (I'm on the 6th floor, room 6B66, how depressing is that?). Reading your article made me laugh and reminded me that my life doesn't suck that bad. I think all the people who wrote you the hate mail should kill themselves....then again, if they did that, who would keep us entertained? Anyways, thanks for making my day a little brighter. Ben ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 04 Dec 2002 17:24:57 -0600 To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: thanx oh my ur web site rocks..a little while ago i thought i had such a bad life that i was going to kill my self...before i did this i decided i was going to search the net for one last and final time..when i stumbled across this website and i couldn't stop laughing..every day since i ahve come on here to see if there where any new emails...because of this website i couldn't wait for the next day to come to read it...i have never htought about killing myself since then thank-you with all my heart and thanx for my life back yours truly blaire collins later ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 27 Sep 2002 01:48:25 -0400 To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: Not hate mail. Just wanted to tell you that your site, from what I've read of it so far, has kept me from killing myself as many as three times. But don't get too excited, because tomorrow is another day. Keep up the good work, and try not to hurt anyone's feelings. Lord knows this country's websurfing populace has it hard as it is, they don't need anything making them think. Sadly enough, public education teaches them only to read, not to think. This e-mail ends right now. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Message-ID: <130.fa6b646.2a396755@aol.com> Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 23:11:17 EDT Subject: suicide hate mail To: maddox@xmission.com i applaud your efforts regarding the defense of your latest entry on suicide. i agree that suicide is taken too seriously in society today, just as everything else is. it amazes me that any iota of humor can be taken out of the subject, which as previously been gravitated towards solemnity. if the hate mail conductor had been an attempted suicide victim, he probably would not have had such a harsh response to your entry. after all, i did not respond with incredulty, and im a recovering manic depressive. it is my opinion that suicidal teenagers can take that kind of writing, however those individuals without any sense of drollery cannot. thanks for the uplift, i admire your courage and good temper. -Vanessa ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:26:09 -0600 From: tim To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: Response Requested (Very Urgent) Dear Almighty King Maddox, You saved my life. I'll start from the beginning. It was eight days after New Years, 2007 and I had headaches. I finally checked myself into a local hospital. I was delirious at the time but about a week later, I found out I had a brain tumor. I was worried. For five months I went through intensive surgery and healing programs. I didn't have the will to live though. I was dying. My wife left me, she didn't want me anymore. Then, as usual I booted up my laptop in my hospital room and discovered your website. I thought it was so funny, I told my doctor. Luckily, most of the hospital had a good sense of humor and the word spread. If you ever saw someone working at a computer they might just be lookinig at one of your new articles. Your website worked like Patch Adams, it gave me hope, your humor fueled my will to live. And guess what? I did it, I survived. From the moment I saw your website to now, my vitals went up, I was going to live. So tell all the nay-sayers and flamers, that you are indeed GOD. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 30 Oct 2006 19:30:06 -0500 From: S. L. To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: Your suicide article saved my best friend's life. Hi, Maddox, My friend's name is Kitty, and she dealt with an abusive father (not any longer, thank God, her mother finally left him permanently) as well as several severe psychological problems. We always used to joke about suicide, saying how that because we failed a test/tripped in the hallway/sneezed, we would "kill ourselves." So when she sent me an instant message on a not-so-special autumn evening saying that she was considering to "end it," I didn't think much of it and sent her the link to your suicide article, telling her that if she was going to do it, that she should do it right. She loved it and thought it was hysterical. She'd never been to your Site before so I told her a bit about you and what you write, and she read a good portion of your other articles. To wit, your article on how she could kill herself saved her life, and for that I owe you my undying gratitude. However, the next day I discovered that she hadn't been kidding. She confessed to having attempted suicide earlier that very day, and if it weren't for you, there's a very good chance that she would be dead. Instead, she's now out of her recovery home and attending school. She'll be going to a local university next year. Thank you for not only your brilliant entertainment over the years, but also for saving my friend's life, even if you did it inadvertently. You really are a magnificent writer with a great wit, and I truly enjoy going to your website and reading your articles (and don't even get me started on Alphabet of Manliness, which was fantastic). As an amateur writer, I can only hope to aspire to your sort of level. Thanks again, and never stop doing your thing. S ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 11:28 AM From: Alesha To: maddox@xmission.com Subject: I was never good at titles. Haha man, you are too funny. I was reading the suicide page along with a couple other ones. I don't understand why people take it so seriously. C'mon, I was diagnosed with "clinical depression" about 4 months ago and "Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance." made me laugh. I came across your web page when I was looking at suicide articles to help make a decision and it helped me pro-long my death, for now anyway, by realizing how point-less some suicide is and looking for the good in things. Anyone who sees this as a bad thing, when it's clearly just a joke, probably has a bad mind to start with.Also, I'm only 15 at the moment..and I'd be the best target for this stupidity. But hey! Look at me. Alive as ever after reading this site. By even looking at your web page we're doing better than like 90% of the world at the moment. So people, quit your bitching. Sorry that my grammar could never match up to yours, but I tired try my best. I was never the sharpest tool in the shed. (P.S.Though, I understand you are an ass, and thats okay. Mean people are funny.So are fat people and racist jokes. But if you plan to put this under "hate-mail" or anywhere on your site could you please not post my e-mail? That'd be great. Thanks.)