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I was stuck behind an old lady in traffic
for 20 minutes today. She was cruising at a
steady 15 miles per hour on the freeway with her right turn signal on the
whole time. She was holding up traffic for miles. I think I have skin
cancer now because I was stuck under the sun for so long. Vultures
started to circle her car because she was so damn old. This lady looked
like she was going to die any second. It was grotesquely obvious that she
was wearing a wig, and probably had a colostomy bag. She was hunched over
the steering wheel like she was giving birth to the damn thing.
Stupid old hag, she's probably bitter because she's so old, withered and
worthless, so she's trying to take it out on everyone else by driving slow
on the free way, voting for shitty presidents, and bitching about social
security.
My solution: let's eat them! We'll dress up a slaughter house like a
retirement home, and then we'll trick them into going with promises of
free prune juice and quality health care (bwahaha). Then we'll throw them
into the meat grinder and there you have it: instant geriatric burgers.
251,930 old people think I'm an ass.
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