5 reasons why Maddox loves everyone
Anyone that has visited Maddox's website can see straight-away that he seems pretty
bitter, spiteful, and egocentric. I, however, have discoverd something in Maddox that
he would be ashamed to admit. Maddox loves everyone. Even Christopher Reeves.
How can I be so certain of this? Well, let me elaborate. In doing so, it is my hope to
show all 3 of you that deep down, Maddox is just a cuddly teddy bear in Pirate's
clothes.
5. He makes sure that his text does not hurt your eyes. Now that is incredibly
thoughtful, wouldn't you say? His entire website is built to be efficient, quick loading,
and easy to navigate. What a horrible, selfish monster he must be to worry so much
about the vision and frustration level of his readers!
4. He fusses over his physical appearance. In all of the drawings Maddox does
of himself, his body is heavily muscled. Now that sounds like someone who only wants
to impress his peers while demonstrating the value of physical fitness.
3. ~95% of the mail he receives is from fans. Now how can that make a person
bitter? Everybody likes him, so he can't be all mean and nasty like he pretends.
Maddox willingly appeals to the humorous side of people, therefore it's easy to
postulate that he just wants to see people smile. Like in a Macdonald's commercial!
2. He lives in Utah. Now tell me honestly, how many mean
people live in Utah? Eight? Maybe nine? They don't even
sell beer in Utah, do they? It's a virgin's paradise.
1. He pays for his own website. Now this is about as
selfless as you can get. Even though he receives millions
of visitors to his site, Maddox's all about giving free admission
to his social and political satire. No popups, no flash ads, no
memberships, just simple, free fun. I'd say he's damnear a
perfect cross between Carlin and Flanders!
Tell me what you think.
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