The song "Yesterday" by the Beatles is the most famous song in history to be sucktown garbage for crybaby idiots.

Did you know that when The Beatles were famously photographed walking down Abbey road, they were actually on their way to Sucktown to record their famous song, "Yesterday" for a bunch of weepy idiots?

Beatles walking down Abbey road to Sucktown

It's true. I'm a huge fan of the Beetles so I looked up the history of this song the other day, and it turns out that Paul McCartney made the song to celebrate all the hot wet tears his fans squirt out of their well-lubricated tear holes while listening to this anthem for losers.

Every idiot with an acoustic guitar learns to play this song because it's for babies (who cry). I looked up the sheet music and even the original draft is stained with giant gobs of cry juice:

Tear-stained sheet music for Yesterday
Original "Yesterday" sheet music, stained with smudges of hot wet tears

The song is a simple melody with simple lyrics for simple people. Here are the top 5 words appearing by frequency in the song:

  1. Yesterday: 10 (22.7%)
  2. I: 7 (14.2%)
  3. To: 6 (11.3%)
  4. Was: 6 (11.3%)
  5. The: 5 (10.2%)

Nearly a quarter of all the words in the song "Yesterday" are the word "yesterday." Combined with "I, to, was," and "the," that's a whopping 69.7% of the words, which means this sentence literally has a larger vocabulary. I've read fortune cookies with a more robust vocabulary than this song.

I've famously been critical of lyrics in songs, as lyrics are written by bitter poets who've been smuggling their rhymes onto the air waves by way of song for years. Poetry wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't written down for people to see. But instead of doing this activity in a dark room with the blinds closed and in shame, poets force us to read and listen to their sloppy pattern matching every chance they get.

Ooh, you found two words that sound the same? Congratulations for having ears you dumb bitch. You know what else rhymes? My fists.

People who find meaning in rhyming lyrics, are lazy thinkers and not to be trusted.

41,094 people got pissed off reading this article and found solace in their favorite suck-shit song.

Available now!
Join the mailing list here

PS: Fuck Whales

Back to how much I rule... New Book Store Email Patreon
© 1997-2017 by Maddox © 1997-2017 by Maddox