The Best Game in the Universe

Update 06-17-05:

I think I killed the YTMND servers. In case you can't access it there anymore, there's a new flash version with smoother animation and extra sound effects. Check it out or go to hell.

Is it too much to ask that the game industry makes a game with pirates in it that doesn't suck? Is it too much to ask for a game where the main character murders feminists with his giant boner, lesbian centaurs get their backs broken with sledge hammers, elderly people get body slammed into cactuses, and emo dumbasses get prostate examinations with the business end of my shoe?

Here's a demo of what this game might look like if it were made (opens in a new window, has music). Prepare to get punched in the ovaries:

By Kain Xiorcal

As sexy as this game looks, it's not as sexy as the possibility that it could be real. Any bored coders out there looking for a project? I know there are programmers out there with free time on their hands because there are just shy of 6 billion visualization plugins for every media player out there. Enough with the visualizations, we don't need to "see" our music. Put your talents to work on something that matters: make a game that doesn't suck. Make this game. Any serious coders, drop me a line.

In case you're wondering what that badass song is in this demo, it's an adaptation of "Mouth for War" from Pantera: Vulgar Display of Power and "Cowboys from Hell."

1,084,905 people miss the days when games didn't require multi-million dollar budgets and long, boring intros to be considered "fun."

Back to how much I rule...