If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

Megan, age 4	First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen. F
Kyle, age 8	You spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor.F
Lisa, age 6	Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit.F
Cameron, age 4	Terrible. F
Bryce, age 10	This one wouldn't be too bad if the color were kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... F

I win. When I go into work next, I'm going to surprise all my co-workers and put up pictures of myself instead of their ugly kids and their inane drawings.

More crappy children's art work:

Crappy art #1 Crappy art #2

2,240,149 stupid kids tried stepping to my iNsAne skills and got 0wned.

maddox@xmission.com

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© 2002 by Maddox